One Step can Open alot of Doors for you

Don't Let Life Slip Away from You!

I know, better than anyone, that my advice isn’t worth pure gold. Even on my best day, I’d never suggest that anything I have to say is worth a $20 bill. Someone once suggested that I charge people to read certain articles on Self Help Daily. I was relieved that he suggested it in e-mail, so he didn’t have to see me throw my head back and laugh as I said, “Oh, that’s a good one!”
I don’t have an over-inflated sense of myself or anything about me… well, I take that back. I’m beyond cocky about my cooking. I’m pretty sure that if anyone ever told me something I cooked or baked was less than a 10 on a scale of 1-10, I’d grab them by their neck collar and throw them out of my kitchen, all the while asking them how they managed to live to this point with absolutely no taste buds.
I’d offer to set up a fund and solicit money to buy them a new tongue – one with taste buds that actually function. I’m just charitable like that.
In all seriousness (an area I seldom visit), the advice I’m about to lay on you is golden. It’s the best advice you will get all year.
I’m not being cocky.
I’m not being grandiose.
I’m simply being honest.
If you have anything in the world that stands between you and enjoying the world to its absolute fullest, I plead with you to take the one small step to navigate around it.
I have been needing new glasses for years. YEARS. But, like most people, I kept seeing other things that I’d rather spend time and money on. Looking back, I know just how ridiculous I was. I’d even go as far to say that I was foolish.
Since I’d last gotten a pair of glasses, my vision has changed a great deal. I could tell when driving or riding in a car, for example, that I couldn’t read signs I was pretty sure I once read. When reading a book or the back of a cereal box, for that matter, I always had to take my glasses off or peek over the top in what I always termed my “annoyed librarian look.” The kind of look a librarian throws to kids who aren’t talking with their “indoors voice.”
The vision change happened so gradually I wasn’t fully aware of just how much I was missing. I knew that I had been slacking off on my writing and reading, but I guess (somehow) I never attributed it to the simple fact that trying to SEE the words I wanted to type and read had become such a challenge.
I knew I needed stronger glasses and I knew I needed bifocal lenses. But I kept putting it off – for years. And years. It wasn’t vanity because thanks to AMAZING technology, today’s bifocals look exactly like all other glasses. “No Line Bifocals” look the same as all other glasses. It boggles the mind, but NO ONE knows you’re wearing bifocals except you. You know it when you can actually read without taking off your glasses, you know when the text on your phone is clearer than ever, and you know when you don’t whip out your annoyed librarian look while reading small print.
More than anything, I think I was afraid of being able to adjust to bifocal lenses. I envisioned myself getting seasick just walking through the room. I pictured myself floundering in a distorted world that suddenly seemed like a house of mirrors.
I got my beautiful new No Line Bifocal glasses this weekend and am relieved to say I’m neither seasick or floundering. What I am is amazed.  Absolutely amazed.  A whole new world has, literally, been opened up for me and I realize, now, that I didn’t even realize, then, just how much I was missing.
As soon as we left Lenscrafters, I found myself reading billboards and restaurant names from FAR away.  Because my vision had deteriorated slowly, the world had, in a sense, slowly slipped away from me.  But the story has such a happy ending, I can’t even feel sad for the time lost – I’m too excited for the time saved!
If you need glasses, bifocal lenses, hearing aids, or anything else that will help open a whole new world for you, again, I’m pleading with you to simply take the small step needed to walk through the door.  The world may be slowly slipping away from you and, because it’s been so gradual, you may not even completely realize it.
My mother experienced gradual hearing loss beginning at a very young age. Although everyone needed to repeat things to her several times, she always seemed to think that people were mumbling.  Everyone, thinking of what all she was missing, kept telling her to get her hearing checked because she needed hearing aids.  No one did it in an ugly manner, of course – only jerks do that.  Personally, I never even minded repeating myself.  If someone actually cares enough about what I say to ask me to repeat it… I’m flattered!
However, my mom (who was such a character, I can’t even tell you – she was the very definition of a PILL!) did what just about everyone with hearing loss did. If she’d already asked someone to repeat themselves several times – she didn’t want to keep on asking, “What?” or “Excuse me?”  She’d simply kind of guess at what they’d said and either laugh or or answer with something she hoped would fit the situation.
Sometimes she’d be so off base I’d have to laugh.  She’d answer my dad at times with completely off the wall responses and I can still see the befuddled expression on his face.  One time he told her that the heat needed to be turned up “a couple of notches” and she said, “I’m going to the store later.”  He said, “Okay. Let’s go with that.”
To which she replied, “Of course you can go with me.”
He then looked at me and whispered, “Help.”
While we sometimes laugh at moments that surround vision and hearing – at ourselves as well as others – let’s be honest. It’s not all that funny, is it?  While we may tell ourselves, “I’m as blind as a bat!” or while someone may tell us, “You can’t hear a lick!” – I don’t think anything that stands between someone and life is anything to laugh at.
My mom, to her credit, did make an appointment for a hearing test. She got a couple of hearing aids and, honestly, tears kind of come to my eyes when I remember the look on her face when she heard birds singing for the first time in what must have been 20 or more years.  We were in front of her house and she said, “Listen!  The birds are singing!”
I thought, Momma, they’ve been singing all along.
So often, she’d ask us, “Have you always been able to hear that?”
She started calling her hearing aids her “ears” and would often say something like, “We can go in a minute… just let me put my ears on.”
The world had slowly slipped away from her and she didn’t even know it.   You, while reading these words, may be in the same boat as my mom (hearing loss) or with me (vision problems).  The world could be slipping slowly away from you, and that really breaks my heart.
If the only thing standing between you and hearing aids, glasses, reading glasses, or bifocal lenses is vanity – let me give you a wake up call.  No one cares. They really don’t.  I think a lot of people are afraid of looking “old” or of being perceived as “old” when it comes to glasses and hearing aids.
Duh!  There are grade school kids who require glasses and hearing aids.  Besides, I’ll give you another little wake up call.  If you’re in your fifties, you aren’t keeping that a secret from anyone, no matter what you may think.  The world will know you’re there and, guess what… again, they don’t care! Fifties and sixties, today are like the yesterday’s forties.
Never be ashamed of your age… be proud.
Besides, let’s be honest, who will be perceived as older, the one who has to do the “annoyed librarian” move or the one who simply sees what they want to see.  Who’ll be perceived as older, the one who says, “What?” or the one who gives a perfect answer every time, right on cue?
Today’s glasses and hearing aids are made so stylish, anyway.  With people living longer, companies are making sure that these products are as fashionable and discreet as ever. Trust me, you’ll be blown away.
You’ll want to kick yourself for not taking that first step sooner. When you’re seeing or hearing everything you’ve been missing, you will feel like a whole new world has opened up right before you.  Think of the scene in the movie Avatar when Pandora opens up for the first time.  It’s like that… only better.
You’ll find that you have more time to actually LIVE and enjoy life. You may not realize just how much effort it takes to try to do things others take for granted. I spent so much time taking glasses off, putting glasses on, walking closer to see what I needed to see, etc. I never realized how much effort I was having to put into life!  The same is true for those who have hearing loss. They have to ask others to repeat what they said (and subject themselves to some people who get annoyed when they have to repeat themselves), they have to try to read lips (my mom mastered this trick), they have to, nervously, throw out an answer and hope for the best.
That’s a lot of effort. It’s also a great big fat (and needless) barrier between yourself and life.
Please don’t live on the sidelines any longer. Make this the week you call for an appointment. There is LITERALLY a whole new world waiting for you to step into it. You just have to make that first step.  As I’m typing these words, I see my computer screen more clearly than ever. The words are sharp and clear.  Every now and then, I glance out of the window my my desk and window and see the birds and trees that I love so much. They had been slowly fading away from me and I can’t tell you how overjoyed I am to have them back.

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Two Key Steps to Achieving your Goals

Two Steps to Failure-Free Goals

We all have goals. We have that list which looks so crisp and pretty on January 1st. It may say “go on a vacation” or “lose 10 pounds” or “learn to play the piano”. But, by January 20th, that list is under a pile of papers and that goal is far from of your mind. Why is it that we can’t stick to these resolutions? We want to do these things but we just can’t get it done.
The reason is that our goals are vague. We want to get in shape. We want to be a positive person. But what does that mean?
In order for a goal to really stick it has to be both specific and challenging. We will often keep our ambitions unclear so there is no really measurable way to admit failure. If you want to “be more confident”, who’s to say if you’ve succeeded or not? There’s no way to measure the results so there is no way to say you haven’t met your aim.
A specific goal has details embedded in it and is clearly defined. You have pinpointed exactly what you want to do and you are working towards a certain result. If you want to get in shape, then have a specific weight goal. If you want to become more adventurous, then decide what it is you imagine an adventurous person does and do that; maybe adventurous to you means talking to strangers or it could mean skydiving. If you keep your goals unclear then you won’t have anything to work toward and you will have no idea if you are actually progressing towards a result.
Your goal must also be challenging. A “low goal” is one that not hard for you and will not ask you to exert yourself in any capacity. While these may come easier to you and you’ll feel more successful at the moment, the ultimate results will be sub par. Your self-esteem comes from moving out of your comfort zone and achieving despite the risk of failure.
These “challenging and specific” goals are ones that should exceed your immediate grasp; if you could achieve it today, then it’s not an appropriate goal. If you would like to learn to play the guitar, a “low goal” would be to buy music books and maybe learn a chord or two. While this is a great start, this goal has a high chance of immediate success and doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone. Instead, you should say you will learn three songs and will be performing a concert for family at Christmas. Now you have something challenging to shoot for and, when you’re sitting in the living room wowing everyone on Christmas Day, think of how proud you’ll be of yourself.

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How to Rededicate yourself - Never Quit

This is an elaborate ritual that involves forgetting the pities of the past, revitalizing your dreams, and coming up with an invigorated gameplan that you can work day in and day out. And it has to begin RIGHT NOW.
If you’re wondering whether its possible to begin later – maybe tomorrow – instead, stop and answer me this: Would you put off breathing or eating until tomorrow?
This is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about, and WHO YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME.  How dare you put that off for one more day?  You are astonishing and can’t afford to squander.
Rededication, while elaborate, begins with a few simple steps. One is revisiting your dreams. You have to make them as big, exciting, and bright as a star – so that your ship can always use them to find its way and be guided
Another step of rededication is having an INVIGORATED GAMEPLAN – one that is challenging, yet fun and doable. For instance, having a powerful and exciting picture of your dream or goal, combined with a simple game plan of doing XYZ to achieve the result you’re after.
There’ll always be twists, turns, and storms along the way – something you shouldn’t worry about. All you’re focused on  is how to get your ship from here to there, the rest will resolve itself as you try different things and evolve. One key ingredient that’ll make the difference is PATIENCE.
The first blow of an axe won’t have much of an effect on an oak tree. Nor will the second or third. It’s the 1000^th that will have an affect – at a time when most people have quit due to their impatience. They’ve been constantly looking for that instant hit, that quick fix. And while you’ve been working away at this one tree, they’ve been running around striking a single blow of the axe against a thousand oak trees, and wondering why YOU’RE SO MUCH FURTHER AHEAD.

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How to achieve your goals

You’re Setting Yourself Up To FAIL

Every year, around January 1st, people come up with their New Years Resolutions.  But how many of them stick?  The actual success rate of people achieving their goals and resolutions is pathetic.  It’s something that people think they “should” do and it’s often some goal based on the moment, not something they’ve really put much thought into.
The problem is, most people are setting themselves up to FAIL.  They set goals, but time and time again they come up short.  They think to themselves, “Oh well…” or come up with some sort of story or excuse of why it didn’t happen.  The problem is, they are making it ACCEPTABLE to fail.  They are literally training themselves to accept failure, which is what their destiny will be about.  So the next time they set a goal, their mind is ALREADY doubting themselves.  They’ve already lost.

So Why Don’t People Actually Achieve Their Goals And Dreams?

I believe because they haven’t made their goal a MUST.  It’s still a “should” or something they would like to have happen.  They haven’t put themselves in a situation where their back is against the wall and they have no choice but to achieve the goal.  That’s why I understand that in order to achieve any goal that I set for myself, I need to use two forces:  Pain and Pleasure.

“Most people just SHOULD all over themselves.” ~ Tony Robbins

The way I use these two forces, is by understanding that every goal that I set for myself needs to have the following:
1) A painful consequence for not achieving the goal.
First and foremost, you need to create leverage on yourself by having a consequence on yourself for NOT achieving your goal.  You can do that in a few ways.  You can do it by simply asking yourself the questions, “What would it cost me in my life if I don’t achieve this goal?  What is the consequence?  What will I miss out on?” and by focusing on the answers to those questions, you begin to associate PAIN to not taking action and achieving your goals.

I put myself in a situation where if I didn’t follow through and get in the best shape of my life, then the consequence was far too painful.  I would feel embarrassed  I would be letting so many people down, I would have lost all of my credibility and respect from others on my blog, I would have wasted money that I paid for the competition and invested in my coach.  There was simply too much at stake, so I had NO CHOICE but to achieve the goal.  I couldn’t back out.  I couldn’t change my mind.  I couldn’t merely say, “This is too hard” and give up.  I had set myself up to WIN right from the very start.
There’s several ways you can have a consequence.  You could simply give your friend $500 and ask them to hold you accountable saying, “I only want you to give me this money back once I’ve achieved XYZ.”  This way, you have an extra incentive.  The key is to find the right leverage point for you.  Maybe it’s not $500, maybe it’s $1000, or it may not even be money.  Maybe you’ll clean your friends apartment for a week if you don’t do XYZ, or whatever – pick something that is so painful that you dont’ want to do it, that’s the point.
2) A pleasurable reward for achieving the goal.

You can’t just have pain drive you, but you also want to use pleasure.  You need to have a reward for achieving the goal, something to look forward to.  The reason is, if you aren’t CELEBRATING and REWARDING yourself for achieving a goal, then you’re also sending your brain the wrong message.  You’re telling your brain, “I did all this work to achieve this goal and that’s it?”  And so your brain isn’t going to want to go through the sacrifice, hard work and discipline it takes to achieve the goal if it’s only going to receive a tiny amount of pleasure.

What gets rewarded, gets repeated.

When you reward yourself and celebrate any action you take, or especially achieving a goal, you’re more likely to condition it as a new habit or pattern of success.  Unfortunately, most people beat themselves up too much and are trying to be perfect, which is the wrong way to go about it.
How can you create pleasure for achieving the goal?  You could simply do it by patting yourself on the back and giving yourself some emotional juice for it.  Or you could reward yourself by giving yourself permission to go on a shopping spree of a couple hundred bucks to buy some new clothes.  Maybe you can book a trip for yourself and take some time off.  Or, maybe you get to go to your favorite restaurant or buy that item you’ve been wanting to treat yourself with.  It’s different for everyone, you have to ask yourself, “What would give me pleasure and what’s a reward that would motivate me to take action?”

How Committed Are You?

You might be thinking to yourself, “This sounds way too stressful.  I don’t want that kind of pressure on myself to achieve my goals.”  And if you’re thinking this way, then I can tell that you’re not really committed to doing what it takes.  You’re already giving yourself permission to fail.  Pressure is a GOOD THING.  It will help you get things done.


Everyone functions better when there’s a deadline.  We perform at a higher level, and raise our standards.  It goes back to school. If you had a project that you had to do, but there’s no due date, would you actually get it done?  Most likely not.  But if I told you that this project is due next week, you would FIND A WAY to get it done.  Most students these days pull all nighters and will study day and night to get their school work done – this is one of the most important things you learn in school in my opinion – by giving yourself a consequence and reward for achieving your goals, then you’re most likely not committed.  Why even bother setting the goal in the first place if you aren’t going to stick with it and achieve it?
If you set a goal for yourself, achieve it.  Keep your word to yourself.  When you do what you say you’ll do, you’ll be amazed by how much your self-esteem and confidence skyrockets.

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