10 Ways to Instantly Build Up Your Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build self confidence

1. Dress Sharp. Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster. One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
3. Good Posture. Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial. One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude. When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people. When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
7. Sit in the front row. In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up. During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out. Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
10. Focus on contribution. Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

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How to Build Social Skills: 6 Key Skills You Need

Social skills are arguably the most important set of abilities we can have. Having great social skills help you meet interesting people, get that job you want, progress further in your career and relationships. But aren’t some people just naturally blessed with good social skills and easy smooth conversation?

But lack of good social skills can make life lonely, causing anxiety and depression. We get depressed and anxious when we don’t meet our fundamental human needs. And the need to socialize, to connect with others is fundamental. We all need social contact. But it’s a trap to assume that you either have social skills or you don’t.
Sure, some people find it easier to naturally relax around people, talk and listen confidently. But like any set of skills, social skills can be learned, honed and developed by anyone. And social skills training are a vital part of building confidence.
But what are social skills? I’ve made a list here of some of the most important:

1) The ability to stay calm in social situations

Regardless of how many social skills you have; if you’re anxious then your brain won’t work properly. It’s always harder to think and speak clearly when we become agitated. So calming down is vital. But relaxing in social situations helps in another way too.
If your body and face give the unconscious message that you’re nervous, it will be more difficult for others to relax with you making harder for you to build rapport with them. This article on how to control your emotions may help you: How to Control Your Emotions
People make a huge mistake though when they assume that gaining good social skills is just about starting to speak well. Take a look at the next skill:

2) Listening skills: The art of connection

When you had dinner with Gladstone, you were left feeling that he was the most charming person you had ever met. But after dinner with Disraeli, you felt that you were the wittiest, the most intelligent, the most charming person.
Dr Warren Bennis PhD, University of California

There is little more attractive and seductive than being truly listened to. Good listening skills include:

• Making 'I'm listening' noises - 'Uh-huh', 'really?', 'oh yes?' etc.
• Feeding back what you've heard - "So he went to the dentist? What happened?"
• Referring back to others' comments later on - "You know how you were saying earlier…"
• Physical stillness, eye contact and attentiveness while the other person is talking.
• To listen well to others you need to develop real interest in them.

3) Empathy with and interest in others' situations

A major part of social anxiety is self consciousness, which is greatly alleviated by focusing strongly on someone else. A fascination (even if forced at first) with another's conversation not only increases your comfort levels, it makes them feel interesting. I never worry what I’m going to talk about because I know I can get other people to talk.
The best social situations are the ones in which you actually forget about yourself and become focused on what is going on and other people. A major social skill is being able to focus outward. Take a look at this how to overcome shyness article: How to Stop Being Shy

4) Knowing how to build rapport

Rapport is a state of understanding or connection that occurs in a good social interaction. It says basically "I am like you, we understand each other". Rapport occurs on an unconscious level, and when it happens between two people you can see it because, the language, speech patterns, body movement and posture of the two people seem to mirror and match.
Rapport is an unconscious process, but it can be increased as part of social skills training. Practice the following:

• Body posture 'mirroring', or movement 'matching'. When you are within someone match their body posture and expressions. Don’t mimic too closely this is supposed to have an unconscious effect.
• Reflecting back language and speech, including rate, volume, tone, and words.
• Feeding back what you have heard.
• Think about building rapport and you’ll feel naturally more socially confident as you’ll be focusing outward.

5) Knowing how, when and how much to talk about yourself - 'self disclosure'

Talking about yourself too much and too early can be a major turn-off for the other party in conversation. Good initial small-talk is often characterized by discussion of subjects not personal to either party, or by an exchanging of personal views in a balanced way. Immediately describing your deepest desires and darkest fears to a stranger may freak them out.
However, as conversations and relationships progress, disclosing personal facts (small, non-emotional ones first!) leads to a feeling of getting to know each other. Now lets look at the importance of how your eyes communicate.

6) Look into their eyes and smile

If you don't look at someone when you are talking or listening to them, they’ll feel:

• You are ignoring them 
• You are untrustworthy 
• You don't like the look of them (!)

This doesn't mean you have to stare at them. Too much eye contact too early on in a relationship can be unsettling too.
Research on attractiveness has shown (not surprisingly) that smiling whilst looking directly at someone makes you appear much more attractive (1)
Having great social skills will enhance your life. Speaking clearly (see how to speak clearly) and gaining the confidence to speak in front of people (see also public speaking techniques) will mean that talking to new people and relaxing with friends old and new will be a breeze.
Don’t lament not being naturally confident or socially able; rather, instead, seek to enhance your social skills for a better life.
Mark Tyrrell, the author of this article, has also created a set of hypnosis downloads to help build social confidence. Hypnosis is extremely effective in increasing social comfort as it allows you to experience the social situation without actually being there. This allows you to relax and rehearse new social skills so they become natural in the situation itself. Practice makes perfect.
Read more here: Social Skills Training Pack

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How to Bulk Up Fast - Without Gaining Fat

This is the simplest advice you can use to BULK UP FAST without getting fat at the same time! If calorie counting is not your thing then simply monitor the number of cups, scoops and tbsp. I would suggest starting with portion sizes of 1 for everything while the 40-60 grams of protein always is consistent i.e. 1 cup, 1 scoop and 1 tbsp of the above ingredients and than build to two and three where recommended.

I used the same formula when I lived at home with my parents and gained over 50 pounds of muscle mass over the course of a year. My Mom was a tough negotiator and only agreed to shop for my breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Those three meals covered about half of my caloric intake getting me close to 3000 calories each day. My meal plan required a consumption of four to five thousand calories so I was still a few thousand calories short from new muscle growth.

If you are like me and work 8-12 hours a day then it is easy to become apart of the 'Lame Blame Club' that defaults to the most convenient excuses in the book. If you are trying to build more muscle mass than you must have a easy strategy to get in those extra 1000-2000 precious calories that you are missing.




Vince's Transformation: 150 to 190 lbs.


The 'See' Food Diet Is Not The Answer
Too bad it's not as easy as picking up a box of five dollar pizza or four cheeseburgers on your way home from work to make up those extra calories. Actually, it is that easy, if you believe that a calorie is a calorie.

If building muscle was as easy as stuffing 8,000 calories of pizza, fries and burgers then I don't think anybody on this planet would have a problem gaining huge muscles! The extra calories I am going to recommend are based on clean calories. These extra calories are for the guys who want to build slabs of new muscle without a fat gut, love handles and a double chin!

Most mass diets wreak havoc on your health because they are based on unclean calories. Sure you climb the scale quickly but you also run the risk of other health problems associated with poor diet. Will your time in the gym offset these health problems associated with carrying too much fat? A little, but not much, and not in the long run.





Right now your body needs a certain number of calories to grow. Let me ask you a simple question. Are you as muscular as you want to be right now?

Yes. Then keep doing what you are doing!

No. Then most likely your body needs a strategy to ingest an extra 1000-2000 calories per day. How are you going to do that?


Store Bought Weight Gainer Shakes Are Not The Answer


Most guys resort to weight gain shakes. The weight gain shakes at health food stores are usually made with very poor protein quality and loads of sugar.


Not good, but the idea of a weight gainer shake is an excellent one. Liquid-calories are easy to consume and ideal for in between meal feeding. But you got to make your own unless you want to look like a pregnant powerlifter!

Weight Gainer Forum Threads:


Home-Made Gainer Shake!!! - Started By X-Mark-X
Weight Gainer As Meal Replacement? - Started By mikejnger
Homeamde Weight Gainer Recipes - Started By high psi
Complete Meal Solution/Gainer Shake Sub - Started By snatohessnaths


The Home Made Weight Gainer Is The Answer!


Here's what you will need:


Three-four large 1 L water bottles
A blender
Couple bags of frozen berries from Costco
A tub of natural peanut butter
A tub of protein powder
A few bags of low fat milk
10 minutes of your day

No, you are not mixing all these ingredients exactly but you can mix the following:


1-3 cups of low fat milk - 300 calories
1-2 cups of mixed berries - 200 calories
40-60 grams of protein powder - 160-240 calories
1-2 tbsp of natural peanut butter - 200 calories

As you can see, this adds up quickly to over 800 clean calories and they are all healthy foods. You will notice that these shakes have no junk sugars and no 'bad' fats. So for all those whiners who complain that they can't get enough food each day - throw that excuse out the window. You now have a solution.



You Are In Complete Control Of How Big You Get


These shakes are completely flexible and you are in control of how much weight you gain and at which rate. Don't be surprised if the volume of the these shakes make you part with your wash board abs and result in canceling your Calvin Klein photo shoots. Throw a couple of these shakes into your daily meal plan and you'll fill that gap towards new muscle growth. No drive through required!




Remember, the title of this article was how to bulk up fast, not how to stay lean all year. I believe that bulking up is the most effective way to gain mass muscle. Taking the stay lean all year approach might help you build 5 pounds of muscle a year if you're lucky but taking the bulk up like you mean it will help you skyrocket 20-30 pound or more and actually make you look like someone who lifts weights! Which one do you want?

Taken from Bodybuilding.com

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How to Build Muscle

Go to any gym and you’ll find most guys doing body-part split routines. They’ll train five to six times a week… one muscle a day… going to failure on every set in order to get pumped… and using at least ten isolation exercises per workout to hit each muscle from every angle. I’m sure this sounds familiar to you.
Many guys think they’ll build muscle with these body-part split routines because that’s what they read in some muscle magazine. Or because that’s how they saw some ripped dude in their gym train, and so they hope to get the same results if they train the exact same way – monkey see, monkey do.
In reality, most guys will never build muscle with body-part split routines. Worse, they’ll look EXACTLY the same five years later. The few who do gain muscle with split routines almost always belong to one of these groups:

• Genetic Freaks – Some guys will build muscle DESPITE doing body-part split routines, NOT because of them. They’re genetically blessed. I’ve seen guys who were ripped and muscular before they even touched a weight. Not to sound rascist, but this is quite common with black people. Yet unless you were also born lucky with superman genetics, forget about building muscle with body-part split routines.
• Steroid Users – Drugs are extremely common among lifters, yet few guys are honest about it. Before I got my home gym, I trained five years in a commercial gym and more than half the guys there were on drugs. That’s why they managed to build muscle REGARDLESS of doing bullshit split routines – it’s because they relied on the muscle building hormones they injected in their body to gain muscle NOT on their training. Drug-free lifters like us won’t get away with that, we play by different rules.
• Advanced Lifters – Most top bodybuilders belong in this group. They used split routines to chisel their physique… AFTER first spending years building muscle mass by getting strong. Unfortunately most guys put the cart before the horse… and that’s like a sculptor trying to carve out a masterpiece from a tiny piece of clay – you just don’t have enough mass to work with. Similarly, split routines won’t work unless you’ve spent years building muscle mass. And that requires getting strong first..

Here’s what this all means: if you’re a drug-free lifter with average, or worse, lousy genetics like me, then building muscle boils down to this…

If You Are Not Lifting More Weight Today
Than You Did One Year Ago, Or Even One Month
Ago… Then You Are NOT Building Muscle!

And I don’t care how pumped or sore you get. You can dumbbell bench on a bosu ball with 30lb in each hand until you’re blue in the face… but the guy who benches 250lb will always have a bigger chest than you. And that’s because he’s lifting heavier weights. More strength is more muscle.
Think about it, why are the best-built guys that ever existed strong as hell? This isn’t a coincidence. They know that more strength is more muscle. They know that the stronger you get, the more muscular you’ll be.
As an example, consider Arnold Schwarzenegger, the 7x Mr Olympia winner. Few guys know this but Arnold did strength-based workouts for years. Heck, he even competed in powerlifting BEFORE becoming a bodybuilder. And in his latest auto-biography “Total Recall“ the Governator reveals why:

“The truth is that not all bodybuilders are strong, especially those who have done most of their training with weight machines. But years of power lifting and working with free weights had given me massive biceps and shoulders and back muscles and thighs. I simply looked bigger and stronger than the rest”
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Total Recall

Arnold Deadlifting 700lb – He’s proof that more strength is more muscle

The above picture shows Arnold Deadlifting 616lb and 710lb in powerlifting competitions… several years before winning his first Mr Olympia title. His other best lifts include a 473lb Squat and 440lb Bench Press. Strong, period. And he’s not the only guy who knew that more strength is more muscle. Here are more examples of champion bodybuilders who were frigging strong…

• Franco Columbo – Arnold’s training partner was even stronger. Franco was a champion powerlifter from Italy who could Deadlift 755lb, Bench Press 525lb and Squat 655lb. He was so strong he could even pop a hot water bottle by inflating it orally. Arnold eventually convinced Franco to compete in bodybuilding, and he won the Mr Olympia twice. He too built muscle by getting strong first because more strength is more muscle.
• Reg Park – Arnold got the idea to build muscle mass by getting strong, and then later chiseling it down with split routines, from his mentor. Reg Park could Deadlift 700lb, Bench 500lb, Squat 600lb and created the 5×5 workout. Park won the Mr Universe 3x and, unlike Arnold, he did this BEFORE steroids existed. This proves that building muscle by getting stronger also works for natural drug-free lifters like us.
• Dr Layne Norton Phd – this pro-bodybuilder and lifetime natural drug-free lifter also happens to be an elite powerlifter… with a 617lb Squat, 386lb Bench and 700lb Deadlift..
• And many, many more… including Ronnie Coleman, 8x Mr Olympia, who could Deadlift 800lb and once said “Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but nobody wants to lift heavy weights.” Or Sergio Oliva, the olympic lifter who could lift 300lb overhead and won the Mr Olympia 3x. Or Stan Efferding, the strongest pro-bodybuilder, owner of the world record in the Squat (854lb). The list of strong bodybuilders goes on and on.

Look, these bodybuilding champions wouldn’t have spent years increasing their strength unless they were convinced this was critical for building muscle. Why do you think they all continued to lift heavy weights even after they switched to split routines? It’s because they know that more strength is more muscle.

And You Don’t NEED To Be A
Frigging Bodybuilder!

That’s right. Most guys find this method of building muscle by getting stronger not only revolutionary, but also liberating. Because few of us are interested in getting oiled up on stage wearing thongs. Few of us desire to be bodybuilders. Very few of us want to be part of this emasculated narcissistic circus.
Instead, most guys are perfectly happy with building an athletic physique that not only looks strong but actually IS. Especially once you realize that you can achieve this by simply training three times a week for about an hour… without taking drugs or supplements, and without being anal about your diet.
Most guys simply don’t know that there is an alternative to bodybuilding. They don’t know you can build muscle without doing time-consuming, ineffective and boring body-part split routines. Yet you can. It’s called strength training.
Here’s how it works: each workout you try to lift more weight. Then, as you get stronger, as the weight on the bar increases, your body builds more muscle. It’s simple, easy, fun, most of all, it’s the fastest way to gain muscle without drugs.
More good news: you don’t need to Deadlift 700lb like Arnold did either. Heck I can’t do that. And yet, although I wasn’t born to be big and strong (and lack any athletic background) I still gained 43lb of muscle without using drugs. How? Simple: train for strength instead of pump.

How To Build Muscle Fast:
The 9 Most Powerful Muscle Building Tips For
Drug-Free Lifters with Average Genetics

Let’s cut the bullshit. I have the worst genetics ever to gain muscle. In fact a lot of guys consider me a hardgainer because my thumb overlaps my middle finger when I grab my wrist. They call that skinny-ectomorph genetics…
Yet I still managed to gain 43lb of muscle drug-free. And after helping tens of thousands of guys from all over the planet gain as much muscle (or more…) here are the 9 most powerful tips to build muscle fast that I’ve found…

1. To Build Muscle, Get Stronger
In Ancient Greece, the wrestler Milo trained for the Olympics by carrying a new-born calf on his back every day. As the calf grew bigger and heavier, he had to carry more weight. This forced Milo’s body to get stronger and build muscle, and that’s how he became the strongest guy of his time, winning the Olympics 6x.

Milo carryied a new-born calf on his back daily. The heavier the calf got, the more strength and muscle Milo gained.

I’m sure this story is more legend than fact, but the moral is that to gain muscle you must get stronger by adding weight. This is the simplest, most powerful way to build muscle… and it means you can forget about all those painful and complicated methods from muscle magazines. I’m talking about…

• Stop “Confusing” Your Muscles. You don’t need to change exercises every week to build muscle. Heck, that’s the worst way to know if you’re making progress because strength varies on each lift. Plus you’ll never master proper form. If you want to confuse your muscles, simply lift five pounds more than you did last workout. Now they’re confused.
• Stop “Tearing” Your Muscles. You don’t need to hit failure on each set for your muscles to grow. That crap will only inflame and overtrain your muscles. That’s why the only thing failure training achieves is getting you sore and injured instead of strong and muscular. Plus it’s so painful it will drain you mentally. You’ll lose motivation and quit.
• Stop “Pumping” Your Muscles. You need to build muscles BEFORE you can get them pumped. Even then, pumping your muscles merely bloats them with water, as soon as you’re out of the gym the pump is gone. All pump training does is build fake, puffy bogus muscles without any real strength. It’s bullshit stacked high and stinking strong.

Some guys claim it’s possible to get strong without gaining a single pound of muscle. That strength is all neurological. They know someone who Squats 500lb but has chicken legs… Well I’m sure there’s a freak like that somewhere, but I’ve never met one. Why? Because these are urban legends! The stronger guy will always be more muscular because more strength is more muscle.
If you only take one thing away from this article, make it this – more strength is more muscle. Like Milo, you must try to increase the weight each workout. Don’t worry about pump. Simply add weight on the bar. As you get stronger, as you’re lifting more weight, you’ll automatically build muscle. It’s that simple.

2. To Build Muscle, Do Compound Exercises
It’s only when I tried compound exercises I saw my arms grow bigger without doing isolation exercises that I finally understood. Compound exercises help the whole body grow and it doesn't only target one muscle group. Plus it saves a lot more time.
You don’t need to train a muscle directly for it to grow. When you do a heavy compound exercise like a Bench Press, your arms are holding the bar. It’s not just your chest working, your triceps have to push the weight as well… and a much heavier weight than on isolation exercises like triceps kickbacks.
That’s why you’ll never meet a guy who can Deadlift 500lb but has skinny arms. Trees with strong, large trunks have big branches. Compound exercises work the muscles close to your trunk but ALSO your limbs.
Bottom line: if you want to build muscle, stop doing isolation exercises and start doing heavy compound exercises. This means:

• If you want bigger biceps, stop doing curls. Do Barbell Rows
• If you want bigger chest, stop doing dumbbell flies. Bench Press
• If you want bigger shoulders, stop doing front fraises. Overhead Press
• if you want bigger back, stop doing lat pulldowns. Deadlift
• If you want bigger legs, stop doing leg extensions. Squat

With compound exercises you’ll also achieve a much more balanced physique because you’re not favoring body-parts. And since they work several muscles at the same time, you’ll burn more calories and get a full body workout with three exercises. You’ll build more muscle and burn more fat while saving time.

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